You’ve had an affair and it’s over. Never mind why you did it and the right and wrong of the affair itself—these are important issues but assuming you want your relationship to continue, the question you face now is: should I tell my partner about the affair?
Of course, your partner may not want to work on the relationship once you confess to the affair. But don’t keep your affair a secret just to save the relationship—that isn’t fair to your partner, and only serves to preserve a relationship with cracks that will inevitably spread. You owe it to your partner to let him or her make that decision with all the information you can provide. You don’t want the relationship to end, but neither do you want your partner to stay with you out of ignorance, mistakenly believing that you’ve been loyal. The fact is, you haven’t—and your partner deserves to know that so he or she can decide whether to give you another chance. And then you both have to work at it to come out tops on the other side.
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